Paula, a service user representative, shares reflections on easing pressure and finding meaning during the Christmas season.
Now that we are in December, Christmas preparations are well and truly underway. In almost every situation, we are reminded that the Christmas season has begun. Businesses make sure their colourful displays are clearly visible, and children’s expectations are only one part of the many demands that Christmas can place on us.
The weight of expectation can be huge. Many ordinary people feel weighed down, and sometimes pressurised, by the number of things they feel are expected of them at this time of year.
The good news is that everything you feel needs to be done by you does not actually need to be done. Some things help if they are in place, but that does not mean you have to do everything yourself. If you are a parent of a small child, there are certain things you will want to do. However, there are also ways to reduce the pressure.
For example, if Christmas dinner feels like too much, it could take place in someone else’s home, such as your parents’ or in-laws’ house. This happens in many families. Often, particularly older family members, are happy to share the responsibility. They understand that there can be too much for one person or one household to manage alone.
Present buying made simpler
When it comes to buying Christmas presents, especially if you are mainly buying for adults, vouchers are a very good option. Most adults are happy to receive vouchers, as they can choose something they really want themselves.
If you know the person you are buying for enjoys reading, you might quietly find out their favourite author or a book they would like to receive. If you do not like crowds, try to visit the shops at quieter times, such as early on a Monday morning. If a sibling or family member is already heading into town, they may be able to pick up vouchers for you in one shop, which can save time and effort.
For less personal presents, such as gifts for people you see occasionally, large boxes of sweets or biscuits are available in many shops and are usually very well received. Fancy mince pies or cakes are also a good option.
Managing costs and expectations
Many people are downsizing their Christmas gifts this year, and this is completely understandable. Money does not stretch as far as it used to.
One benefit this year is that people generally understand they may receive fewer presents than before. There are usually no hard feelings about this. Money has to go much further than it once did.
For next year, I do what I normally do and start saving small but manageable amounts from July or August. This really does work. Sometimes I see presents during the summer or autumn and buy them then, keeping them aside for later with a particular person in mind. This is another way to reduce pressure as Christmas approaches.
For the most significant person in your life, I am afraid I cannot offer advice there.
Sharing the load at home
When it comes to putting up Christmas decorations, children, nieces, and nephews are often happy to help if you ask them. Grandchildren, in particular, are usually very enthusiastic about helping, which can make decorating more enjoyable.
One well-proven way to have a happier Christmas is to do something meaningful for someone else. There are thousands of homeless families in Dublin alone, and many more around the country. Wherever you live, there will always be people who are worse off than ourselves.
Charities and local causes are always in need of volunteers or donations. If everyone who could afford it gave even a small amount once a year at Christmas, many people in Ireland would receive much-needed help. You might also look closer to home. Is there a lonely neighbour who would appreciate a box of biscuits but would not buy them for themselves?
I know a woman who makes beautiful, colourful blankets throughout the year and raffles them for charity. They also make a lovely Christmas gift. In the past, I went carol singing every Christmas with a group of friends on Dublin’s Grafton Street. We raised a lot of money for good causes, and it was great fun too.
The healing power of giving
There is something healing about doing something for someone else. It seems to meet a deep need within ourselves. It brings a sense of freedom, helps us smile, and often brings a smile to someone else as well.
A smile can light up the world. Perhaps the brightest light this Christmas is the one that shines inside another person when we help them feel cared for. Give what you can from what you have. If you have nothing material to give, give the gift of your smile. It may be remembered long after the celebrations are over.
Finally, take a moment to remember why we celebrate Christmas at all. If you know someone, young or old, who does not know much about the Christmas story, take the time to share it with them and remind them what Christmas is about.
Wishing you the happiest of Christmases.
Paula
All views and opinions expressed here are the author’s own.
